Helga's Big Adventure

From the Bay Area to the Bay State

Monday, August 27, 2007

How to get rid of moving boxes

Here is a step-by-step guide for getting rid of used moving boxes:

1. Post an ad on Craigslist detailing the enormous quantity of moving boxes in your possession.

2. Post the ad about a week before most renters with a lease will be moving (Sept. 1) because you moved the weekend before and have been in an unpacking frenzy.

3. Field about 10 phone calls in 2 hours.

4. When caller number 1 comes with a sedan that has 3 carseats (sans children) in the back to pick up all 40ish boxes, help her with them by shoving them in her car. You can make those 3 wardrobe boxes fit in her backseat if it kills you. You gonna carry those back upstairs? No, you are not. Make them fit.

5. Wave to caller number 1 as she drives away, barely able to see in her rearview mirror because those wardrobe boxes fit so well.

6. Have a glass of wine to congratulate yourself on a job well done, and also to congratulate yourself for having unpacked the wine glasses. And be damn sure to take down that Craigslist ad so people stop calling you about the boxes.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Keebler Elves, where are you?

Tomorrow the movers come to take all our crap from Natick to Davis Square. Whoopee! Of course, the packing is a drag, and I've done most of it -- Todd started his new job this week, and I currently "work from home" in that I study constantly for my licensing exam and look for a job. Actually, it's quite a lot of work; I just don't get paid for it. But it means that it's a bit easier for me than it is for him to get time off from my boss so I can pack. Here's how the conversation went:

"Helga? Do you think I could take a couple of days off from studying and job hunting so I can pack up the apartment? I'm actually a bit ahead of schedule with the studying, and I've called all the places where I've applied for a job so they remember that I still exist."

"Well, I don't know, Helga. How far ahead do you really think you are? What if you forget everything you've learned?! Are you sure you want to pack up your job interview clothes just yet? What if somebody calls you back right now?! "

"Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to deal with it. There's always next week. I really do need to pack."

"All right. But just don't get too comfortable, especially with the not studying. I've got my eye on you."

*Sigh* That Helga can be a real stickler sometimes. But at least I got some time off.

Anyway, yesterday I had the yearning for some elves to come and help me pack. And not just any elves. I want the Keebler Elves. Then, after they've packed stuff for me, they can give me some cookies. Or, better yet, they can give me some cookies to munch on while I watch them pack.

Then, they can come with me to the new apartment and do all the unpacking. And, of course, they will know exactly where I want everything. So I can just eat some more cookies and relax while they work.

This does not seem like such a bad idea to me.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Finally

I know. I said I was going to post some Peru pictures. But I've been busy, blah, blah, blah, and I haven't gotten to it. But here they finally are. We took lots of pictures (more than 300), so whittling it down to a few highlights was difficult. Please applaud my effort.

First, we were in Cusco and the Sacred Valley:

This is the Plaza de Armas, which is the main square in Cusco.











These are the ruins of Ollantaytambo (say that 3 times fast, I dare you!), which is a town and former Inca citadel in the Sacred Valley. We saw other ruins like this at other places in the valley as well as along the Inca trail, but I'm going to save myself some time and not upload other high-resolution pictures. You get the idea.






Here are some local women in traditional clothes. I loved their clothes. It amazed us how fast these two seemed to be able to hoof it up the steep hills where we were. Which was, you know, the Andes.







Then, of course, there was the hike to Machu Picchu:

Here I am with the other members of our little group (Todd, of course, is behind the camera). What? You can't see me? That's because my very tall backpack obscures my head. I think I almost look hardcore here, don't you?








Yes, it was gorgeous, which ultimately made it worth all the pain. Not that I'll ever do anything like this again.

We did not hike this snowy peak, even though my legs felt like it.








These are our group's very hardworking porters. Look how fast they can climb those mountains for such low pay!!










There were llamas on the trail. Here's one I'm befriending outside of a "bathroom." Heh. I was probably just making a beeline for the "toilet." Get outta my way, llama!









This is a slew of hikers looking exhausted at the top of dead woman's pass. You can't tell from this picture how far we climbed, but believe me, it was far.









And finally, there was Machu Picchu. We woke before dawn on the last day of the hike to get to Machu Picchu by sunrise. When we got there, this is what we saw:


That's right: Nothing. It had rained the day before and a thick fog lingered. This is approximately what I was thinking at the time: "I hiked for four @#$! days and shat in @#$! pits so I could come to @#$! Machu Picchu! I haven't bathed in four @#$%! days and this is what I @#$!%&@!#$@#@$@! get?! "

The camper was not happy.

So we hung out for a while with the llamas that graze there and hoped for some sun.


Luckily, the fog cleared and we got the money shots. And it's a good thing. I was almost on the verge of acting out my anger by murdering one of the very comfortable and clean-looking people who had come to Machu Picchu by way of the train.



After we left Machu Picchu, we headed back to Cusco, where we ended up staying longer than expected after getting booted from our flight to Lima (this was when the airline so kindly put us up in a ritzy hotel). But then we finally made it to Lima for a couple of days. We don't have so many pictures: I was sick and we spent most of the time in our room watching MTV, which was in English with Spanish subtitles. But here's what we did see in Lima:

Paragliders going off the cliffs in Miraflores, the neighborhood near the beach where we were staying.

And the lovely Pacific Ocean. For just a second, I thought I was back in Santa Cruz.



Oh, yeah: There was also the bus that crashed into our hotel. See the big chunk it took out of the security wall? And the silver BMW? The hotel owner told us that this was the second time in 4 years that a bus had crashed into the wall. Did I mention that people drive a little crazy in Peru?




Then, of course, we had to come home, though at least our flights weren't delayed.

This concludes the photo tour of Peru. Muchas Gracias.

Friday, August 03, 2007

I am not dead

I think my last blog posting aroused some suspicion that I might be dying, or at the very least, not getting better from my Peruvian illness. Sorry that I worried some of you. The antibiotics that I got from the doctor in Peru have been very effective, and I am feeling much, much better. It's also been nice to be home so I can eat and drink without worrying about contamination. I've been brushing my teeth with tap water, baby! And eating salads and flushing toilet paper. Life is good.

My good friend Dr. Bombay suggested that what I had could be marketed as an eating disorder starter kit. The kit would include:

*One (1) copy of this article from Runner's World magazine (to get people into the eating disorder frame of mind).
*One (1) plane ticket to Peru.
*One (1) FREE intestinal bacteria.

Directions: Combine these items and poo incessantly.

Also, just for the record, I do not have an eating disorder.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Hola

So I'm back from Peru. There is so much to tell and so many pictures to upload. But for now, I'll give you an overview.

Getting there: It was not half the fun. Our flight from Boston to Miami was delayed to such an extent that we could not make our connection from Miami to Lima (and then from Lima to Cusco). After telling us there was no way to get there, the ticket agent magically found us another flight from Miami to Lima. This was still a pretty tight connection, especially for an international flight. So after getting off the 3-hour-long flight from Boston to Miami, Todd and I ran across the Miami airport -- It was all very Amazing Race. And after booking it across several terminals, what did we find? That our flight from Miami to Lima was also delayed, by about an hour, I think. It finally left at about 3 am.

When we finally arrived in Lima, the airport was mobbed. Apparently, the airport in Cusco had been on strike the day before, so many people who had been trying to get there from Lima were still in Lima. We missed our original connection because of all the delays, and at first the ticket agent told us that there were no more flights. But then, magically, LAN (the airline) produced one in several hours. We arrived in Cusco about 7 hours later than was originally planned. The funny thing is, Todd had made a mistake in telling the hotel when to pick us up from the airport. But it turned out to be exactly the right time given the delays. Ha!

Cusco and the Sacred Valley: Cusco (or Q'osqo, if I'm going to use the traditional spelling), means "The Navel of the Universe" in Quechua, which is the native Andean language. It was the heart of the Inca empire, and it is surrounded by a valley that is dotted with many Inca ruins. It is also at a very high altitude, since it is in the Andes. I'll talk more about the ruins when I've uploaded the pictures -- they were pretty cool. Anyway, Cusco is very touristy, being the jumping-off point for Machu Picchu and other sights. Which means that everybody wants to sell you something, including pictures with them wearing local dress. Cusco also has tons of stray dogs and garbage in the streets. Well, not as much garbage as other places probably have. But the poverty of the locals is very clear and very sad. There are also signs everywhere discouraging sex tourism and slavery. Do you really need signs for that?

The Inca Trail: Oh. My. God. Where do I start? I'll say more when the pictures are uploaded later. But what I will say now is that this was the most difficult physical experience of my entire life, and I have never been so sore. Todd and I realized that we are not trekkers, and will probably not do anything like this again, although we're glad now that we can say we did this.

The bathrooms along the trail were terrifying. I had been somewhat excited to learn that there were toilets along the trail. However, although they were called "flush toilets," they really amounted to "flush pits." I am not good at squatting to do my business, especially when other people's shit is all over the floor. And the toilets at the campsites would eventually get plugged up. Squatting is also hard when you've been hiking for 9 hours a day in the Andes. This is a time when a girl needs to sit, thank you very much.

On the first day of the trail, I began to get very ill. I thought it might be food poisoning, and our wonderful guide gave me some Immodium, which helped me for the remaining days of the hike. Imagine how much (insert assorted curse words here) fun I had pooing constantly in those flush pits!! Anyway, I never got better after the hike and eventually saw doctor in Lima the day before we left. I've been invaded by bacteria and have lost almost 10 pounds. I'm starting to feel better though, and I imagine that soon my collarbone and hips won't jut out so much.

As I mentioned before, our guide was very helpful. We had 2 other people on our tour, a couple from France, who we liked very much. The porters, who are the hardworking men who carry the camp equipment to each site, set up and break up camp, and cook (you know, the servants) are the hardest working bunch of people I have ever seen. They are paid so little, and yet it's probably more than they get at their other jobs, which are usually farming. They are young men (usually in their early 20s) with old faces that look marred by hard lives. They carry huge loads of equipment up steep mountains. There is supposedly a 25 kilo limit on how much they can carry, but we saw some who must have been carrying more. They get to the lunch or campsites before the campers, set up dining tents and sleeping tents, cook amazing food (the best food I had in Peru was made my German, my group's cook), and do it day after day after day. Class divisions were very apparent, as the porters and cook served us, but then ate after us, not with us. They also didn't get to sleep in proper tents, just the non-waterproof military tents that served as the cooking and dining tents. This was especially problematic on the night that it rained really hard. We also never really got introduced to them until the last night, which seemed strange. We were all very uncomfortable with this arrangement. We (the group of us) kept pushing our guide for answers about this, and asking to have meals with all of us together. I'm not sure that our guide knew what to do with this, but we did all eat together on the last night.

Lima: We were supposed to fly from Cusco to Lima the day after we got back from the trail, but that didn't happen. Why? Well, when we missed our original flight from Lima to Cusco, LAN cancelled the rest of our itinerary. Just because. They did, however, get us on a flight for the next day and they put us up in Cusco at a very, very fancy hotel and paid for our meals. I loved that fancy hotel room. Which is good, because I spent the day inside of it, close to the very elegant bathroom.

We only spent 2 days in Lima, and didn't get to see much, since I was so sick. We stayed in a part of Lima called Miraflores, which is close to the ocean and probably the prettiest part of this big, dirty city. We walked to the Pacific Ocean and just for a minute I thought I was back in Santa Cruz. While in Lima, we also went to the saddest zoo I have ever seen. The animals had very small enclosures. The one sea otter they had was in what looked like a stained swimming pool (alone -- not good for such a social animal) and was eating some garbage that people had thrown in. We didn't stay long there.

Our hotel in Lima was fabulous, but not in the ostentatiously fancy way that most people would define "fabulous." It cost $40 per night and was super clean. There was unlimited free drinking water, and tons of hot water in the shower. The Internet was free, and when it was clear that I was getting worse and not better, they called a doctor for me who provided me with free care. Amazing.

There was also some free entertainment: A bus crashed into the hotel. People in Peru drive even more crazily than in Massachusetts, and on the first night that we were there, there was a bus vs. beamer accident. The bus crashed into the stone wall and security gate outside the hotel. The owner said this was the second time in 4 years that this had happened. For those of you imagining large city buses, take heart: This was a colectivo, which is more of a mini bus that you can take for about 1 sole (.60 US) and gets crammed more full of people than you thought possible. Todd and I took several of these around Cusco and the Sacred Valley -- it can be nice to travel with the locals. And we realized we could have easily been on the one that crashed into the hotel. Scary. One man had to be carried away on a stretcher.

And now we're back. Our flights back went fairly smoothly. Now, of course, we need to start packing to get ready to move. But I might go back to bed first.