Happy Birthday, Kjerste!

Today marks my dear Kjerste's 27th year. And hopefully, an end to the birthday curse. As some of you may remember, she was clever enough to provide me with a festive birthday blog posting. And now, I would like to shamelessly copy that idea by doing the same. Because my scanner appears to lack a crucial cable, I will not be posting any of the pictures I have of Kjerste being festive -- something that she may appreciate, especially when she reads what lies below. In the past, I might have composed a little Ode to Kjerste, complete with bad rhymes. Instead, I will list some of my favorite moments with her. Think of it as a narrative ode and a means to illustrate the splendorousness of Kjerste.

In no particular order:

Our "Photo Shoot" and New Year's Eve, 2000. On New Year's Eve, we got all dressed up in long skirts, because it was New Year's Eve and we didn't really have a place to go, other than some party for which we had vague directions. We drove to Monterey and proceeded to take "artistic" black and white pictures of each other (because we were dressed up and looked good). Because it was late in the day, however, and the light was low, the pictures looked rather funerary. Then, not being able to find the party we were trying to go to, we ended up at a Super 8 with some Cisco watching the ball drop with Peter Jennings. (He was on TV, not in the motel room. And I don't know why it was him and not Dick Clark). At the time, I think we were both a little disappointed: We really were all dressed up with no place to go! We even had long red nails! Looking back, however, I realize that this was one of the best times I've ever had on New Year's.

Our girl nights. For the couple of years that Kjerste and I both lived in Oakland, we had weekly girl nights. This would often involve a bottle of wine, some Mint Julep masks, and/or some burritos. Sometimes a trip to Mecca, also known as Target. I loved these nights, and I looked forward to them all week. It was so great to be able to catch each other up and laugh our asses off, which we inevitably did. It was so great to live so close to each other, which is something that I miss now that we live more than 3,000 miles apart. Those were golden days.

Our Bon Voyage Party. When Kjerste and I were about to begin college, it was late in September, due to our schools' schedules. This meant that most people we knew who were going away had already left, so the bulk of the goodbyes had already taken place. Where did that leave us? In charge of our own Bon Voyage party, of course. So we made a cake and took some pictures. Then, LL came over, and we all went to Wal-Mart to hang out. Because this is what one does in Manteca. Don't be hatin'. Then I helped Kjerste bleach her hair platinum blonde, and this is where the party started to go awry. Let's just say that I really screwed up her hair, and then when we tried to correct the situation by putting color back in it, it was grayish. Feeling like a horrible person, I bought her some Ultra Swim shampoo, in hopes of stripping out the gray. The good news was, she went to art school, so I hear that people thought her hair was all cool and counter-cultural. Additional good news: She continued to be my friend.

High school hijinks. Kjerste, LL and I had a whole lotta fun. Toilet papering houses, wearing dreadfully short skirts, applying strange makeup, making prank phone calls, donning fake accents (which we still do) and attempting to put a tiara on a cow are only some of the highlights. Good times.

The John Holmes incident. As a jokingly inappropriate housewarming gift for Kjerste and Suzimusi in their college apartment, I gave them a very strange John Holmes blow-up doll. Just what every household needs!! After inflating him and laughing hysterically, we ordered pizza from a place where the delivery boy was someone Kjerste and Suzimusi knew. When the doorbell rang, we figured it was him, and had the brilliant idea of having John Holmes answer the door. So we opened the door, and had John peek around the corner in his naked, inflated glory. Unfortunately, it wasn't the pizza; it was the landlord coming to complain that we were making too much noise with all our laughter. Oops! John flew behind the couch and we all became very, very apologetic. The poor landlord didn't know what hit her. And of course, we laughed even harder when she left.

Our hikes. For years, especially during college, Kjerste and I would go for regular hikes. We generally felt hardcore afterwards, and would eat some pizza and drink some wine. Gotta balance out all those burned calories somehow. One hike in particular -- the last one we went on, I think -- we got lost and ended up hiking 13 miles. It started to get dark and there were a bunch of cows around, which was a bit spooky. At one point, we thought some of them might be following us. Yes, the same girls who participated in trying to put a tiara on a cow (see above) were now afraid of them. I guess was cow karma coming to get us. Obviously, we survived. And I'll tell you: We walked fast toward the end of that hike.

Our weddings. Kjerste and I were each other's maids (or in my case, matron) of honor. There is nobody else who I would want to be there when I was freaking out about planning or the day before when it really hit me that I was actually getting married. I don't remember all that much about my actual wedding -- it was a blur. But I do remember Kjerste's speech at the reception that made me laugh and cry. Two years later, at her wedding, I found myself sobbing into a microphone as I gave a speech for her and her wonderful hubby. It was a beautiful day.

Thus, I think it's easy to see why Kjerste is so fabulous: She's funny, smart, and has a way with cows and John Holmes. She has mastery of phony accents and of providing emotional support. She can also knock back the Cisco. She has been there for so many of the important moments of my life that this selection barely even scratches the surface. Her being there has also made these moments important. I love this girl. And so should you. Happy birthday, baby girl!

Feel free to share your own special Kjerste moments.