Treadmill Trauma

Back in September, Todd and I bought a used treadmill off of Craigslist. The goal of this purchase was to make my life easier. Of course, getting said treadmill was no easy feat -- it involved renting an SUV (which, fortunately, we were already renting to pick up the wardrobe that took me about 3 hours to assemble), partially unassembling it, then getting its heft up our stairs and into the little carpeted room that serves as the workout room/closet/junkroom. Yes, we are fabulous multitaskers. Then, the treadmill had to be reassembled. This was relatively easy, given that just its feet and arms had to be reattached. And I realize that this sounds rather macabre. And when I say "relatively," I mean relative to the entire rooms of furniture I've assembled over the last few months.

I should mention that our apartment is on the second floor of an old, very funky building. I realized that our treadmill might be noisy to the downstairs neighbors, but since it was sitting on carpet, I assumed that this would do the trick. And, I figured that if the noise was a problem, the neighbors would tell us and we could just put something underneath it. After all, they know where we live. But, never a peep was heard from the neighbors, and on my merry way I ran, thinking my life was made easier by technology.

Until a couple of weeks ago, when the neighbor cornered me as I was taking out the recycling. He says that the treadmill is noisy and wakes him up in the morning. I'm wondering that if it was such a big problem, why did he wait 2 months to say something? But, I thanked him for his input, flashed a fake and disarming smile, and vowed to fix the problem. And also wondered if I made the treadmill quieter, would he then maybe make his juvenile delinquent son not yell all the time out in the yard? And maybe he could stop chainsmoking? And maybe stop running the washer when we are taking showers and stealing all but a sad trickle of water?

And so heavy-duty foam was purchased (2 layers!), cut to size, and installed under the treadmill. And did I mention that the treadmill is exceedingly heavy? So moving it to install the foam is not exactly easy and fun. But I figured it would definitely solve the problem. And merrily I ran, thinking I had discovered a crafty and ingenious solution.

Not so. The neighbor claims that it is still too loud. I find myself now not caring too terribly much if it wakes him up. I don't like him. He' s not my friend. He didn't even introduce himself before he complained. Maybe he should get up early and get some exercise himself. I kept these thoughts to myself, of course, and said I would try something else.

Todd and I consulted with the landlord, who already knew about the treadmill problem from our dear neighbor. So I'm guessing that maybe he complained about the noise to the landlord before he complained to us? Now I really don't care if I wake him up. But, with our landlord's permission, we moved the treadmill outside the apartment, to a part of the hallway that is not even over the downstairs apartment -- it's over the entryway to the building. Moving the treadmill down the hall involved once again temporarily amputating feet and arms, carefully guiding it through doorways, inching it along the floor, putting the foam back underneath it, and reattaching its limbs. And did I mention that it's exceedingly heavy?

I thought that this would be the final fix. How could the neighbor complain about noise when it's not even over his apartment? Well, he can, and he did this morning as he stumbled upstairs in his bathrobe. We offered to buy him a white noise maker. A coworker said that maybe he needs earplugs. I don't think the neighbor sees these as options. And seriously: He's bothered by the treadmill but not by the damn trains that run all day and night through the backyard? He should already be wearing earplugs.

So now here I am with a treadmill that I purchased to make my life easier, but actually seems to be doing the opposite. If this building wasn't so old and funky, and had some real insulation, it probably wouldn't be an issue. I've read things online about people having treadmills on upper-floor apartments with no problems. Obviously, they didn't live in the slope-floored, poorly insulated Funkhouse. They must live in a Real Building. Maybe I'm an idiot for not foreseeing this as a problem. My goal in life is not to wake the neighbors.

Hopefully I can at least use the treadmill as a handy clothing rack.