Winter Grievance List

This time of year, some people create a wish list so you know exactly what to buy them for the holidays. Given that I don't do gifts these days, I feel that a grievance list would be more appropriate.

And let me say that the weather is not on my grievance list. Why bother complaining about the fact that it's cold? It's not like that'll make things warmer. That said, I do have to admit that I sent a few cranky weather reports to my girlz in California after I got back from my Thanksgiving trip there. It's amazing how just a few days of copious golden sunshine and temperatures in the 60s softened me right up. I spent the first few days back in Boston shivering, jetlagged, and light-starved. I'm better now, even though I miss my girlz.

My grievance list is actually based on my recent experiences running outside:

1. Dear drivers: SLOW DOWN. This Monday, I ran through the slushy rain/snow combo that vaguely resembled a Snoopy Snow-Cone. As I was waiting at a corner to cross the street, I got splashed by a driver who decided to take a corner too fast while driving straight into a puddle the size of a small lake. I was already wet up to my ankles, so this really just topped things off perfectly. I'm sure the driver must have seen me: I was wearing a bright pink shirt (that I wear specifically to be visible) and I looked like a desperate, uncomfortable drowned rat. This sort of thing happened to me less than a month ago when I was walking along my street after a rainstorm, minding my own business.

Dr. Bombay, my fellow runner, has suggested that I purchase a taser so that I can punish those who dare to splash me. This isn't a bad idea, although I fear that I might inadvertently electrocute myself since I would only be using it while soaked. And then I'd be really pissed.

2. Dear homeowners: SHOVEL YOUR SIDEWALK. You know, this is really not hard to do when there is only an inch or two of snow. Which may be why you don't think you need to do it. But you know what happens if you don't, and then it gets below freezing overnight? It turns to ice. And you know what happens to people who walk or run in front of your house? They either have to cross carefully, fall down, or go out into the street.

Yesterday during my run, I stayed primarily in the street (just call me Sally Safety!) and dodged buses by getting onto the sidewalk. Then there were other times when I carefully tiptoed across the ice. And several times when I almost slipped. I really loved it when I saw an elderly woman trying to walk on the sidewalk, but in order to cross an icy section, she had to hold on to a pole so as not to break her brittle bones. For the love of God, people. If you can't shovel your sidewalk to please your local runner, at least do it for Grandma.

Dr. Bombay and I may design a jogging stroller-like contraption that dispenses salt. Then you can push it in front of you as you run and de-slip the sidewalks as you go. I'm also thinking that some running shoes with battery-operated heated soles would be a nice touch.

3. Dear running clothes manufacturers: LOWER YOUR PRICES. Seriously. Why should I have to spend $80 on a pair of pants that probably cost a bunch of kids only a dollar to make? No, I don't want frostbite, and my legs work much better when encased in high-tech fabrics. But I really don't think avoiding gangrene should be so expensive. And yet, it is. You'd think I was climbing Mt. Everest.

That's all I can think of right now to put on my list. As the season progresses, I'm sure I'll think of more, so stay tuned.